Pins, Balls and Pinball Sex?

Pins, Balls and Pinball Sex?

"There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal for both sexes. In women,

chief amongst these is the Mercedes Benz 380l convertible"

PJ O'Rourke

Why in god’s name would you want to have your navel pierced? What is the point? If PJ O’Rourke’s quote has validity, then perhaps navel piercing can be explained? After all, how many people can get into a Mercedes convertible anyway? Perhaps the friends of the owner can be pulled behind the car on skateboards and the navel ring is a bejewelled tow bar? A la Michael J Fox, perhaps, in “Back to the Future”? I can’t see that working too well though. It would most probably become “Back to the Suture”, wouldn’t it?”

And if you think the navel piercing is ridiculous enough… what about the other nonsense people are doing, all this pricking and sticking, mainly to enhance licking, flicking and dicking.
Turn on the TV most any time of day, and a quick flick through the channels will reveal just how prevalent breast enhancement has become. The good ole’ Boob Job is seemingly so popular it is virtually unbelievable how often women are having this procedure undertaken. But for the life of me, I really cannot understand why anyone would consider it… its all a bit baffling.

Sexual appendages have long been a cause of exasperation for men and women. Most people are well aware of the procedures that women are doing, especially breast augmentation. But what about guys? Guys are reportedly often worried about the size of their manhood – is it too long (?), is it too short, is it wide enough? I really can’t understand why men get so hung up on how well they are hung. What’s the point? Either you are compatible with your partner sexually or you are not, and if you are not, go find someone else. We come in all shapes and sizes don’t we? There are no rights or wrongs in this area as far as I can tell, and when rights or wrongs are espoused, aren’t they pretty much personal preferences anyway?

But, apparently, men are now undertaking a procedure called phalloplasty… cosmetic penis lengthening or broadening. It seems, according to a leading North American cosmetic surgeon’s website at least, that this procedure was first undertaken in the early 1980’s. A man who, as a boy, had unfortunately had a dog bite off much of his penis, reached the point where he wanted to marry, and thus had the need for a full sized piece of equipment. If this story is true, then it must have been a nightmare for the kid, and even the dog must have had therapy.
I’d love to know how one gets oneself into a position where a dog can actually do that to you? I mean, what must he have been doing? Watching TV Perhaps? A rerun of Lassie and the kid’s dog got so pissed off seeing the exploitation of pets that he decided to bite off the kid’s dick? Maybe not… perhaps that’s just the tale wagging the dog, I guess.

Anyway, it seems that now you can achieve lengthening of up to two inches (cool – I could amass four inches after this), by effectively having your penis severed from its suspensionary ligaments and then local tissue is used to close the gap. And all this is under local anaesthetic, to boot. Apparently a post operative erection often causes the penis to be erect at a different angle. NO shit, Sherlock!

I can’t imagine having the will to having this procedure done to be honest. I can’t imagine having my dog be in a position to cause me to need to do this either, not under any circumstances… I can imagine kicking the living daylights out of the dog though. Surely this is madness to ordinarily undertake such augmentation?

But women? Well, it seems they are getting into breast augmentation in a big way. It is apparently a relatively common procedure these days, and I guess it’s to satisfy the self esteem of protagonists and improve their desirability to the opposite (or same) sex.

I imagine I am like most men, in as much as I love breasts, or whatever you want to call them. But to me at least, the size doesn’t really matter all that much. There are preferences, sure, for size, firmness, et al. But is the size, shape and all a deal breaker in a relationship? Not a chance. I am more interested in the person they belong to and I would imagine many men feel the same way. Sure it may be an enhanced experience if things were a little different, perhaps. But then again, if your aunt was a man she’d be your uncle wouldn’t she? So what?
Why then, do so many women have this breast augmentation performed? I think that perhaps there is a communication problem here.

We regularly hear guys utter derogatory (?) comments about women’s breasts
“Wow – look at the headlights on that!”

But girls, no woman’s breasts actually look like headlights… not even the old fashioned perfectly round headlights with the part in the middle that might appear to look like a nipple. Breasts are not round to such a degree of perfection. You know this is true, so why do you get boobjobs that are perfectly round? It doesn’t look natural anyway, does it?

Whenever you see a girl with a boobjob lying topless, it is singularly artificial looking. It stands out a mile if you ask me. If you are lying down topless, girls, breasts are not supposed to look like perfectly rounded and mounded half melons. Of course these are silicon and saline implants, but I wonder as well as looking unnatural much of the time, how they respond during day to day occurrences or activities.

For example, you are a tad the worse for alcohol, on holiday in a warmer clime, you meet some really nice guy and he suggests that you both go skinny dipping. What happens to the implants? If you swim naked, do they move? Worse still do they travel? I can picture a super hot babe coming out of the sea with, literally, her hands full. Is there any need to mitigate this? What do you do… swim part of the time freestyle and then part of the time backstroke in order to relocate your implants?

What if you can’t do backstroke? Do you end up breastless and with really bad hernias?
What about if you cant swim freestyle, and favour backstroke? That would give you more than a lump in the throat, wouldn’t it? And you can forget butterfly – you’d knock your own teeth out.
What happens if you are topless and you reach over? What is supporting the implants, particularly if they are really large? Do they take on the motion of a bungee? Do you have to hold them? Is the skin stretched over time if you keep bending? Do you have to avoid any jobs where a lot of bending is required, or use sports bras to support you? The challenges must be considerable. In fact, the challenges must be considerable for a naturally larger breasted woman, I would imagine. Naturally there are circumstances where women may benefit from this procedure… mastectomy patients would be one, for sure. But out of sheer vanity?

Government websites in the US provide much information regarding breast enhancement procedures… and the information isn’t entirely positive. It’s not uncommon for these implants to start leaking – often from day one. And if women have the procedure performed through the navel, then the propensity for leaking increases exponentially. Even if the implants are inserted beautifully, their shelf life is pretty much 10 years. That’s all. This whole concept baffles me. Guys don’t understand the biology or physical make up inside a woman’s breasts. They have no clue whether the bulk is musculature or not. But I am sure they will appreciate women’s musculature to some extent – especially when it is the muscle between the ears.
And if that’s not bad enough, other insertions appear to be much more ridiculous if you ask me.

I guess we have to start with the tongue…

We have all heard the stories about how piercing the tongue is a way of enhancing oral sex, with most commonly a stud akin to a ball bearing reportedly providing enhanced stimulation. But humans have inbuilt response mechanisms, learned experientially, as to how we should deal with foreign objects in the mouth, don’t we? Where did spitting come from I wonder? What do you do if you eat a fillet of fish and locate a bone whilst chewing the fish? You eject those foreign objects, right? Yet here we are, with a foreign object in your mouth that must feel slightly smaller than a basketball at first I imagine. And people are choosing this?

It is often said by tongue pierced devotees that the reason for this piercing is decorative, and the sexual stimulation aspect is decidedly secondary. I guess this might be true. In the same way that having copious amounts of KY Jelly in your house is a contingency for running out of WD40, the chains in the closet are memories of past pets and the six pairs of handcuffs stem from a time when you dated a lot of people who were members of the local constabulary.
How can this tongue piercing be decorative? People in developed countries have been spending millions to have their previous amalgam fillings converted to tooth coloured replacements. Gold teeth have been replaced by tooth coloured caps and the like. We have moved away from having chunks of visible metal in the mouth for a variety of reasons, and yet now people are having them put back in with no dental benefit or purpose to speak of.
Metal in your mouth isn’t that attractive, is it? Apparently owners of tongue piercings can now buy ‘daytime substitute piercings’ to maintain the piercing during work time, yet in a colour that’s transparent or ‘tongue coloured’ so that it is less conspicuous and less offensive to others. Frankly I am not surprised by the introduction of such products.

I have never heard anyone make the statement, after teeth shaping scaffolding has been applied, not honestly at least…
“Wow – you look so much more attractive in your new braces”.

As far as I know, the only person who looked cool in braces was Michael Douglas’s Gordon Gecko in the movie Wall Street... and that emulation fad was short lived, albeit enhanced at the time by wannabes declaring that ‘lunch is for wimps’. I have never heard anyone look at the actor Richard Kiel when he was playing the role of Jaws in what ever Bond movie it was, ‘The Spy who Loved Me’, I believe, and say
“Wow, what a fabulous smile”, or “wow, that was horny”.
Yes, he was trying to bite the neck of a Bond girl, but maybe he had ulterior motives?

As for sexual stimulation?.. Well, I don’t know about you, but as a normal male I have to say that the act of fellatio, performed by a willing and able partner, is already stimulating enough and a most enjoyable sexual experience. I have never heard of a man who doesn’t really enjoy it thoroughly when it is performed with skill and by a human that matches his sexual preferences for gender (wow, how safe a statement was that?).
That being largely a given, what in God’s name do you want to speed up that process for? Are men mad to even THINK of speeding it up? And speeded up with, effectively, ball bearings? It’s to be savoured, surely, isn’t it? It isn’t a race, not even a ball bearing race. And in any event, are ball bearings that pleasurable? Who ever heard of any guy masturbating with a fist full of ball bearings for Christ’s sake?
‘A Fistful of Ball Bearings?’
Cue Ennio Morricone
♫ na na na na naaaaaaaaaah, na na na ♫

Sounds like a present day Clint Eastwood movie where the man with no name is today a car mechanic.

On top of that, assuming your tongue pierced partner is a life partner as well, what impact does a tongue piercing have on other parts of the relationship, I wonder? I find, having personally experienced the effects of braces, dentistry, and a broken jaw, that just about any changes to the oral area in general, and particularly any additions, no matter how well they are matched to the part they are replacing or enhancing, have an effect on the ability to speak for the affected person… you get the keys to Lisp City or break out into involuntary Sylvester Stallone impressions.

Surely you remember what a gobstopper or aniseed ball did to you as a kid? Could you speak properly with it in your mouth? Sure – If you relocated it into the cheeks. It was a bit harder to speak when it was rolling around your mouth or on your tongue. Yet here we are effectively having metal aniseed balls secured to your tongue?

Tongue pierced enthusiasts need to speak all day long, and probably engage in fellatio far less often (only on birthdays according to many men). Some men tell me they have been hypnotised to believe they have birthdays that are always coming up tomorrow… though tomorrow never comes (and neither do they, through fellatio, at least).

I can only imagine that tongue piercing causes tremendously enhanced sexual stimulation at the expense of being able to pronounce words accurately. Perhaps a renowned President of the US has had his tongue pierced? Maybe the benefits of tongue piercing are, Dubya(s)? (That’s dubious George, not multiple Dubai’s, in case you haven’t learned from your past malapropisms). Maybe this lack of ability for pronunciation, post tongue piercing, has some bearing on the origin of the word ‘diction’? Who knows? How the world is changing, huh?

And what about kissing?.. Imagine a ‘frencher’ with someone who is tongue pierced? I haven’t experienced this, but would be somewhat apprehensive for sure.

Firstly there’s the obvious ‘is that ball bearing sanitary?’ question. How is that piercing kept clean? How do you do that? Take it out at night and put it in a glass next to the bed, resplendent with Steradent? (A somewhat regression to the days of false teeth, terribly alluring I don’t think). Do you sterilise it like a baby bottle? Boil the hell out of it? Take it out in the jewellers for ultrasound cleaning? Use home based jewellery cleaning solutions, ‘for that extra sparkle’? Perhaps gargle vigorously with TCP or similar? Get it shot blasted? The possibilities are seemingly endless.

During a well executed French kiss, it’s a very passionate act, isn’t it? Who in their right mind wants to engage in this activity with the same inevitable dental risks as walking into a strange pub and politely telling the largest guy in there that his woman is from a failed Quatermass experiment, that you believe he has the libido of a eunuch, is suffering from erectile dysfunction, and physically couldn’t satisfy a chicken who hadn’t had it in months. I mean, come on. Who wants to have their front teeth assailed by a freaking pissed off huge guy, or, for that matter, a ball bearing?

I don’t want to French kiss some hot babe, only to jump up rapidly mid kiss with blood issuing forth from my mouth, only to see her smile and satisfying utter the word “strike”. Maybe when the bleeding has stopped, you can go for another few frames – perhaps try and get a turkey? That’s probably pointless though – she’s French kissing you with a wrecking ball, and you are engaged in this activity. Maybe she already has a turkey?

It seems people are going to all sorts of lengths to allow for enhanced sexual stimulation, through myriad additions and modifications, piercings, et al. I am sure many of us I have heard of the term, a “Prince Albert”. A Prince Albert (PA) is basically a piercing through the penis, and various types of jewellery may be used to give the desired “effect”.

You can call me traditional, but the idea of having a piece of metal inserted through the head of my penis isn’t too high on my list of ‘things to do’. And whether the metal is precious or not doesn’t really influence my thinking in this regard. Since Lord of the Rings has been further popularised on screen, I do not want the term ‘precious’ associated with my phallus under any circumstances. Here’s a tip for guys…
If you are suffering from an erection when you don’t want one, or approaching ejaculation when you don’t want to yet, just picture Gollum from Lord of the Rings in your mind and imagine your dick is fondly being referred to by him as ‘My Precious’… problem solved.

But back to having a PA being not too high on my ‘to do’ list…

You know what I mean, don’t you… Perhaps you have just witnessed your favourite soccer team get totally trounced, and on the way home from the match your mobile rings and you are told you have just lost your job, your house will be imminently repossessed, and your dog has emigrated to Korea in search of a better life. You arrive home to find your wife being pleasured in bed by an elephant man look-alike, with an erect penis that’s a dead ringer for someone with sexual inadequacy issues. She’s smiling from ear to ear and moaning as if the world’s most successful vibrator had not only been administered with incredible skill, but powered by a 1000kW generator, and all the pictures have fallen off the wall through vibration from her moaning. Basically things could be way better and most likely you generally would have lost the will to live in those circumstances. Even then, would you think to yourself…

“Ah stuff it – things will only get better - I’ll get a Prince Albert”.

What kind of mindset do you have to get into that makes you want to have this procedure done?

Out of sheer curiosity I took a look at websites that both introduced people to the PA procedure, and made judgments as to the pain level this procedure involved. The pain MUST be in a new dimension, mustn’t it? It ranked as between 4 – 6 on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being extremely slight discomfort and 10 being equivalent to ‘excruciation in the nation’, (or a three week all expenses paid trip for you and your family on the surface of the sun, in layman’s terms). If this procedure is 4-6 in pain terms, what would a perfect 10 procedure be, in piercing terms, I wonder? Pierced eyeballs using a Black and Decker drill? Pierced testicles using no anaesthetic and knitting needles, perhaps?

Despite the claims of enhanced sexual stimulation made by PA protagonists, I have a problem with the concept of a bolt through my member. Apparently, depending on how well and in what position the PA is administered, men have to sit down to pee because the urine flow is a little different than before this procedure. Like freaking DUH!

Obviously these men that have this PA may never again go out to pubs, clubs or any places where a public toilet would need to be used. They can’t, can they? Think about it, do you really want to have to sit down at a men’s public loo just to have a pee? How many of these loos are sanitary? You need galoshes just to enter most of them, and chest waders in some. I wouldn’t sit down in most of them, that’s for sure, but to think that urinals are a no go area for fear of covering yourself, (and anyone else in a 3 metre radius), with a deluge of urine, somewhat baffles me. Maybe this is how this Golden Shower urination fetish got started? Men forgetting to sit down after having a PA, and by some strange quirk, their fellow toilet goers inadvertently getting some perverse pleasure bestowed upon them from being showered in hot urine when it is minus 20 below outside.
‘Ooh – they seemed to enjoy that – I’ll try it on the wife’.
Doubtful, huh? You’re right… I was definitely taking the piss.

Having an uncontrollable free flowing omni directional sprinkler system for a penis, further to a PA, just doesn’t seem worthwhile, does it? Maybe there are many men out there that have had this procedure done, yet have kept it reasonably well hidden from fellow males? This would explain why so many men don’t want to urinate in the presence of others and hang around the bathroom wash basins until everyone else has left. It would perhaps also explain why, despite years practicing the aiming of urine at a bowl or a urinal, men can’t seem to develop any degree of accuracy whatsoever, with veritable pools of urine splashes on the floor in most public toilets. It’s the bloody PA that’s to blame. The cubicles were either fully occupied or visually/ malodorously so disgusting to put them beyond approach for the PA wearers, who’s only choice is to venture forth and let loose the newly acquired inbuilt sprinkler system.

We regularly see men fiddling down there, scratching, moving bits around and the like. Perhaps these guys have the PA and it keeps getting caught up in trouser seams, and/or zips, perhaps?

As for the sexual stimulation part, I am a tad confused. Vibrators have been around for ages and it seems their popularity is reasonably strong with women the world over… you see them for sale in High Streets all over the place. However, how come we don’t see any for sale with a detachable bolt through them. I mean, come on, if the effect is that good for the ladies… Mary Shelley came up with the idea for a bolt through the neck eons ago, didn’t she, with the monster of Dr Frankenstein? But we haven’t had Frankendick coined as a PA aficionado phrase yet, have we, despite the concept of a bolt and also the neck?
“Good morning Sir, what can I do for you today… tattooing? Piercing?”
“I’d like a Frankendick please.”
“Certainly sir.”
“Harry – turn on the generator and bring the power tools, ok?”
How does someone give you one of these PA jobs? Is it under general anaesthetic? In a doctor’s clinic or surgery? At a tattooists / piercers’ joint? Where? Do you have to be erect? Limp?

If it’s limp, I guess the initial swelling will have to provide clues as to the right size of bolt, in order to cater for both a flaccid and erect penis. But how can it? The end of your penis is going to become the size of a cricket ball, isn’t it? When the swelling reduces, (by which time you’re pensionable and probably impotent anyway), the bolt will have to be changed for something much, much smaller I suppose. And that has to be so good and self image building for the ‘sexually inadequate even before I did this’ camp, hasn’t it?

But what if you have to be erect for this procedure to be done? You are just about to have a hole put through your old fellow, and an erection might be needed? Surely not? If so, I imagine you can put 25 porno videos on TV’s all over the place, whilst a similarly numbered naked nubile goddess’s play with your rounder sexual bits and you’ll probably start to get a tad aroused. But seeing your Willie on a Black and Decker workbench, and some crazed madman with a power tool or crazed instruments in his hand? Yeah right. Well this had better be a ‘limp’ procedure. In fact the piercer would need the Hubble telescope to find my Willie in this situation, that’s for sure. Instant bodily retraction and shrinkage. Instant Sumo capability, in essence.

Then of course, assuming you actually go and have this bizarre PA procedure done, what happens when you are fed up with it, and you want to permanently take out the bolt, shackle, or whatever pieced of insane engineering you put in there? There will be holes all over the place. Peeing will be even more challenging, won’t it? Assuming that these holes don’t grow over, I suppose that peeing will need extreme dexterity of the fingers to avoid the inbuilt sprinkler system kicking in. Perhaps to allow for this inevitable situation, piercers might want to increase their prices and throw in free recorder lessons, to get pierced customer’s dexterity levels up to scratch.

And when, WHEN, you get into old age and don’t have that dexterity of the fingers anymore, thanks to chronic rheumatism and arthritis, what will you do then? You’ll be rendered incontinent and will wish you were on a different continent, most probably. You won’t feel like a millionaire, and if even if you wanted to be a millionaire, I promise you that the chances of you getting soaked in urine are better than 50/50 and it will be pointless to try and call a friend or ask the audience, whoever they may be.

Of course, women get in on the act too… It wasn’t too far in the distant past when men thought the clitoris may not even exist, let alone be a ‘must attend to’ cornerstone of female sexual arousal. Stand up comics had a field day with men’s inability to find the clitoris, making much comedic extrapolation and juxtapositions about wearing wet suits, snorkels and miners hats / lamps just to go in search of it.

Today, however, most men are a tad more educated about the sensuality and sexuality of women – a tad. Women are at least equally, and probably way more self and sexually aware. When men needed clues as to where the clitoral location was, we were given little or no assistance whatsoever. I know this, as I have worn out many a perfectly good torch and was always running out of KY and surgical gloves.

Now that we DO know where it is, women are having clitoral hood piercings and also full clitoral piercing (pretty much a female Prince Albert, though on a smaller scale). What is that all about? We finally know where the bloody thing is, women were always moaning that we couldn’t find the bloody thing, and only NOW you provide directions that a blind man could follow??? When we know where it is? Why didn’t you have tattoos down there before? An arrow would have sufficed to point it out, we were ok to leave the lights on, we could have found it if you had helped! All we needed was a clue, or a non too subtle hint. We would have responded, honestly!
It wasn’t our fault we thought a Climax was a forklift made in Coventry!
It is kind of spectacularly bad timing if you ask me. Again sexual stimulation is supposed to be enhanced substantially, though there are still countless women who apparently struggle to reach orgasm at all.

I wonder what these women will do with these piercings, if they get them. And if they do get them, how will they know it’s being put in the right place? Let their boyfriend go mad with a stapler beforehand as a research experiment? Perhaps they’ll rely on the piercer to accurately hit the spot? Hope that the directional guidance this device gives will thereafter enable women who are struggling to climax to find the right place to stimulate and thus orgasm? This is all a little perplexing to me.

Any guy who has a reasonable understanding of the female anatomy can find it these days… we know how it works…we can make it erect… we don’t need it to be hyper sensitised… for many women YOU don’t need it to be hyper sensitised either. But getting clitoral piercing? We don’t need this for directions anymore, now do we? And any guy who has ever driven anywhere with a woman holding a map of any sort just knows that all hell is waiting to break loose… and that isn’t ‘earth shattering’ in the way you both would want, now is it?

Lord only knows what’s next… hooking the piercing up to a 12v car battery perhaps. That might well stimulate the desired area girls and get your engine firing on all cylinders. You may well have an electrifying sexual experience, or alternatively it may be so shocking that you won’t know if you are coming or going. Who knows?

Now of course, we have moved away from the clitoris and are in search of the G spot. I think not even piercing or tattoos are going to help us in this regard. Some women have found it, other women have hired Leonard Nimoy to go “In Search Of” the G spot, whilst others believe it is only present in women born within the triangular region that stretches between Florida, Puerto Rico, and Bermuda. Some sort of homing piercing may be in order?

If this all sounds a tad bizarre, then in some places around the world, these acts are decidedly lame, almost passé by comparison. In Asia, Indonesia and the Philippines in particular, it appears that some sections of society have people in search of sexual pleasure, (through attachments and embellishment), that are perhaps a smidgeon more, how can I say this? Liberal perhaps?

There are countless references to the very real practice of more elaborate penile insertions to, again, enhance sexual stimulation. Having horse’s hair sewn into the foreskin for example? How on earth does that work or help? I have heard the sexual parts of a man’s and woman’s anatomy called all manner of things, but never the art of lovemaking called the Grand National…
“And he’s under starters orders, and he’s off. He’s stretching nicely, three and a half, four, straightening out the bend, five and a half inches, head and neck in front, almost home now…”
Maybe there is something I am missing here. Perhaps this is something to do with why girls want ponies and the Asian’s have worked it out? Hmm… maybe not. These days, horse hair is mainly used to make brushes and in the bows of musical instruments, or so I thought.

I guess the frictional aspect of horse’s hair in your foreskin may well be responsible for some sort of enhanced stimulation, but it seems just a tad extreme if you ask me. I am curious to know how this procedure gets done.
‘Be back in a minute love… just popping down to the barbers to have my love strands fixed”?
How many strands are there and do the hairs discolour over time, in an effort to become a sexual Greek god? Is this where Grecian 2000 got its recognition from? This gives hair restoration completely new themes, doesn’t it? Some type of penile hairdresser perhaps is used? How is this hair maintained and ‘groomed’? Who performs this kind of procedure, and how?

I mean, most boys at some stage get involved in all manner of horseplay, but this is ridiculous. Maybe this is what you have to do to reach the accolade of “You’re the mane man”? And then of course, one has to question what effect this insertion has on not just traditional sex… but particularly fellatio? Where does the hair go? How long is it? How much of it is there? What’s next? Fellatio flossing? Sounds like a recipe for throat infections if you ask me, and if you are not spectacularly careful, it may be enough to make you virtually hoarse.

Additionally, some Asian men apparently also have a procedure performed where ball bearings are inserted either in the shaft of the penis or under the foreskin. This has some implications for oral sex again… So with a tongue pierced felatio performer and a penile ball bearing protagonist, does that mean you get to play marbles, or has everyone lost their marbles?
Again, who performs such a procedure, and where? What happens if there is a need to have these metal balls removed? What do you say to your lover?
“ Honey, we have been lovemaking for several minutes and it isn’t quite as pleasurable as before, what’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry love. I went to the doctor’s love, and I have Leeson’s Syndrome … sorry”.
“Is it serious? what’s that love?”
“Unfortunately, I have lost my bearings”
As for the effect of having ball bearings in play during fellatio, well no wonder so many people in the hinterlands are toothless and have false teeth in this region… at a very young age too. I can’t imagine anyone’s teeth standing up to rhythmic pinball either.

TILT.